This may seem extreme but it is the best way I can explain how I have not been around the fight their corner against their Dad.' 'As a mum I feel I have thrown my children to the wolves. I tell them don't judge me until you have walked a mile in my shoes.' 'When people ask why didn't you leave I feel embarrassed because they do not understand the gravity of the situation I was in. I over explain myself, always looking to provide a reason and justification even when there is no need.' 'When I book a holiday I always think, god, what would he think. 'I have had a number of panic attacks, including one at a railway station. The only positive is that when I wake up and I realize it was a dream and I am safe on my own.' It always ends in him coming in and taking my phone and questioning me. 'Sometimes he has a key, sometimes he's on the roof pulling off tiles and making his way in. I have recurring nightmares about my ex-husband coming into my house. When you got into this pattern there is very little energy left for yourself. 'Learning to say no and to try not to people please is difficult. 'I struggled to set boundaries and learned how to minimize his behaviour during the marriage. I felt belittled and undervalued as a wife, a lover and a woman.' I had developed mechanisms to deal with his behaviour. 'Throughout the relationship he made me feel overwhelmed, tired, anxious, cheated, angry and sad. Now it's now clear to me that my ex signed up for something very different. I bought into a partnership with someone that I could laugh and cry with. ![]() ![]() She said: 'When I got married, it was for life. ![]() At Bolton Crown Court the victim who has two daughters aged 17 and 13 with Cowburn read out an emotional charged statement in which she quoted the US writer Austin Gentry who wrote: 'Fate whispers to the warrior, 'You cannot withstand the storm.' The warrior whispers back, 'I am the storm'.'
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